It was one of the saddest things that I have ever heard.
I was attending a conference on age management medicine. I met an internist who practiced in a large university setting hospital sitting next to me. He shared this with me:
His patient confessed to him that his wife had told me that she didn’t care if he wanted to have sex with other women. She was no longer interested in sex. She didn’t want to have sex with him.
The internist admitted that he didn’t know what to say.
I certainly know what I would like to say. I would like to have a consultation with his wife. Her lack of interest in sex that was damaging the intimacy of their relationship has causes. Most of the causes can be tracked down. Age related deficiencies in hormones can be a root cause.
The very sad part is all the repercussions that ensue. Do women really want to throw away the relationship with a partner that they chose for life and parented children together? Is this the reason for the societal myth (perhaps) that men seek out younger women? Are women of their own age all turning down their husbands? What if they really are only lonely and want the intimacy they once enjoyed? How does it feel to be the man whose wife is rejecting him?
And further, the woman in this situation is also suffering from many the side effects of hormone deficits associated with aging. She has lost vitality, her memory declines, she loses strength because her muscle mass is wasting, she starts suffering from an accumulation of chronic illnesses. All of this can be prevented and reversed.
What if instead of rejecting sex with her husband, this woman seeks the guidance and coaching with someone who understands how the body functions. They intervene with hormone support and make diet and life style changes to bring back her vitality.
And if that doesn’t bring her husband eager to be with her again as she is with him, perhaps he can use a little guidance too.